Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
