I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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