So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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