We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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