a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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