there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
