Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
