Im at strip club and am horny
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
