Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
