we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wish I only lived at night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
