OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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