Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
