New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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