remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
