he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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