They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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