he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
