when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
