no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
