If that was your dad, he is hot
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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