How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
