Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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