Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
