Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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