If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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