I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
