sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Buhtt sex?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
