We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
