I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
