I love black thongs
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
