pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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