Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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