i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
