I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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