dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
