it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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