why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
