Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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