after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
