it's not cheating when I paid for it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
and you fell through a lawn chair
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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