If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
