Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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