I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
