Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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