as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
