it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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