I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
