Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
