That's when you crack a 10am beer
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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