I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
