Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
