just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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