apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
